


Locked and Loaded

by prettysemmy



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Prison, Combat Violence, Comedy, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Light Masochism, M/M, POV Kaidan Alenko, Porn With Plot, Romance, Rough Sex, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-25
Updated: 2012-11-25
Packaged: 2017-11-19 12:58:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/573552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettysemmy/pseuds/prettysemmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan wants out of prison but he never thought it would happen like this, dragged out by a man he's never met and who, Kaidan has really good reason to believe, is certifiably insane.</p><p>Also, apparently, the guy has a lot of pent up energy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Locked and Loaded

**Author's Note:**

> There are a lot of versions of Shep. That's the virtue of him/her, he/she is yours. I have a head canon Shep, but I'm cool with other Sheps.  
> Well, this is one of those OTHER Sheps.  
> Colonist/War Hero Soldier Shepard. Mostly Renegade. Kind of violent and mostly crazy.  
> Story is post ME 2 & Arrival, but before the Reaper attack on Earth.
> 
>  **Divergence from the Original Universe** :
> 
> Kaidan never joins the Alliance. He takes a job, post BAaT but pre-Alliance (so, before he turns 22), and it goes bad. His employer frames Kaidan to protect himself.
> 
> Mostly Renegade Shepard is not on good terms with the Council, the Alliance, or the Illusive Man and when he destroys the Alpha Relay resulting in the destruction of the batarian planet, Aratoht, the Blue Suns capture and imprison him in Purgatory. The Illusive Man pays to keep him alive, but none of the organizations attempt to rescue him.
> 
> Until now. 
> 
> The crew of the Normandy is coming. The problem is, they still have to get out.
> 
>  **Lastly:** Story requires familiarity with the layout of Shepard's cabin in ME3.  
>  Beta-ed by the wonderful [shajs](http://shajs.tumblr.com/). All remaining errors are mine and mine alone.

"We're movin you, Alenko."

"Why?" he asked surprised. They'd never done that before.

"Good behavior incentives," the Blue Sun guard said cheerfully as he let Kaidan out. "You've been transferred to a lower security cell. You might even get outta here in twenty years if you keep it up." 

"Yeah, and the yahg are getting a seat on the council too, right?" Kaidan said sarcastically as they started walking. Twenty years was the best he could do and the chances of that were practically null. He didn't even wanna think about it.

"Oh, you'll be alright, they've already cut off ten years. Don't lose hope." 

Kaidan smiled at his guard. Ten years off of a lifetime sentence was still pretty much a lifetime sentence, but it wasn't the guard's fault. He was actually a really nice guy.

They walked down a couple halls and stopped in front of another cell. The guard knocked and called out, "You ready to go Loco?"

"Yessir," a male voice said and wrists were thrust out of the small window. The guard cuffed him, let him out, then uncuffed the guy's left wrist to attach the cuff to Kaidan's left wrist instead.

Kaidan eyed the man on the other end of the twenty centimeter chain. He was a little shorter than Kaidan, had a buzz cut and a scar on his temple. He looked pretty strong, but Kaidan couldn't get a good feel of his personality. Part of Kaidan wanted to think he was a decent guy, the other part wanted to get the hell away from him, _right now._

Especially with the way he was scowling at Kaidan's guard.

They were shown into a small room, then the guard said, "Twenty minutes, Loco. Bay four," and left, locking the door behind him. There was nothing in the room except the two of them and an old desk.

"This is weird," Kaidan said after a moment.

"He _had_ to go and attach me to a damn ponce," the guy grumbled.

"Excuse me?" Kaidan said frowning, "What's your _problem?"_ He hadn't done a single thing to warrant this guy being such an ass.

 _"You_ are fucking up my plans," he said to Kaidan, looking him over with a glare. Then he started searching the room, mumbling, almost to himself, "Who the hell does their hair in prison? Come _on,_ who're you gunna meet?"

"What are you _doing?"_ Kaidan asked, because this guy was acting really strange. He turned back and Kaidan met his eyes for the first time. They were a shocking shade of blue.

"I'm getting out," the guy said, "and well," he pulled Kaidan's hand up with the cuffs and shook it, "you're coming with me."

"No I'm not," Kaidan said flatly, because that sounded like a fast ticket to _dead._ _Nobody_ escaped from Purgatory.

"Yeah, you are," the guy answered confidently, going back to his search of the room.

"No," Kaidan said again, "I'm _not."_

Before he knew what was happening, the man had slammed him against the wall. All the breath left his lungs and he saw stars when his head hit the hard metal. Kaidan gasped as the guy held a forearm against his throat.

"I think you should reconsider," the guy growled dangerously, right up next to Kaidan's ear, his breath warm against Kaidan's face. Then he paused, thinking for a second, "please," he added as an afterthought.

And what _the fuck?_ This guy was _insane._

"O-kay," Kaidan choked out, because it was never a good idea to piss off _the crazy person._

The guy released Kaidan and started searching again, pulling Kaidan around with him, like nothing had happened. "Good. Found it," he said, removing a screwdriver from the leg of the desk. He dragged the desk over and hopped up onto it, yanking the chain so Kaidan had to follow. "This is going to be so annoying," he said as he reached up to unscrew a vent, forcing Kaidan to hold his hand in the air awkwardly.

Kaidan scowled at the man as he worked until the vent swung down, hinged on one side, revealing an air passageway with a pipe running along the top.

"Good job, Jimmy," the guy said inexplicably. Kaidan's eyebrows went up. The guy tossed the screwdriver up into the hole, turned to Kaidan and said, "Hey, would you give me a boost."

Kaidan shrugged and put his hands together so the guy could step on them, but before he kneeled down, or really knew what was going on _at all,_ the guy had grabbed his hands and hopped up into a _handstand_ on them, with all his weight supported by Kaidan.

The guy weighed _a lot_ more than he looked and Kaidan wavered for a second before stabilizing. The guy's balance was amazing though because that didn't faze him at all.

"Push up," he said, like it should be easy, and Kaidan huffed at his tone but did what the guy commanded. The man hooked his legs around the pipe and then quickly swapped their grips so his left arm went up to grab the pole and his right hand grabbed Kaidan's wrist. Then he pulled Kaidan up, with _one arm,_ so it was really easy for Kaidan to hook his legs over the rim of the vent and climb up.

"That was impressive," Kaidan said after they were settled and had the vent closed again.

The man just shrugged and said, "Yeah," in place of an explanation. Then he started crawling down the tunnel. Kaidan huffed and followed him.

They reached another vent and looked down through it to an empty corridor. The man looked like he was about to kick it out so they could drop down, when a couple guards came around the corner.

He grabbed Kaidan and rolled off to the side so they got out of view just as the guards reached the spot below them. Kaidan realized after a second that that was probably a close call because the guards stopped by this vent, specifically, for a smoke break.

So they waited. And waited. And the guy was laying on top of him.

And he was still heavy.

"So, ponce, what are you in for?" the guy said, startling Kaidan.

"Is this really the time to be making conversation!?" Kaidan whispered up at him in agitation.

"Sure. Good as any other," the guy replied, "they can't hear us." And he was probably right, the ambient noise was pretty loud. Kaidan could only hear _him_ because they were so close together. "Well?" the guy asked again.

Kaidan let out a big sigh. "Mass murder," he said, "but I was framed."

"Sure you were," the man said with a small smirk.

"No, I really was," Kaidan insisted, but the guy didn't look any more convinced. In fact the part-smirk became a full-smirk and it looked kind of...fond?

...What..?

The guy turned away and then shifted, without warning, to see if it was clear. Kaidan took in a sharp breath. Damn. That body contact felt _way_ better than it had any right to. Stupid touch-starved body. Ten years and this was the first-

The guy turned back to Kaidan and Kaidan's eyes widened as realized his body's _...reaction..._ to the situation was actually quite obvious. _Please don't notice, please don't notice, please-_

"They're still there," the guy said, "Assholes. It shouldn't be more than..." he trailed off and Kaidan was being met with a questioning look.

He searched Kaidan's face, so close to his, and then shifted again. Purposefully.

Kaidan squeezed his eyes shut, dropped his head back and unsuccessfully stifled a whimper. His hips bucked up without his consent and his hard cock shifted against the other's equal hardness.

"Fuck yes," the guy said breathlessly. He moved one hand up next to Kaidan's shoulder and the other next to Kaidan's waist, giving himself leverage, then rolled his hips against Kaidan's again.

Kaidan bit his lip and tried to suppress his body's responses. _You don't want it Kaidan, you don't want it,_ he said, like a mantra in his head. His cock, however, did not agree.

"This is ridiculous," he said distressed. This situation. This guy. His own reaction.

He was supposed to be _straight._

But then the guy moved his mouth to Kaidan's neck and sucked on a spot that was apparently particularly sensitive. Kaidan let out another whimper and his hands moved to grab the guy's sides.

When the guy bit down, hard, on that same spot, a shiver ran through Kaidan's body and he grabbed the man so hard he was probably leaving bruises. He slid his hands back and wrapped his arms around the man, locking them together, their bodies aligning. Kaidan could feel the strength and warmth of him as they moved together.

The man's body felt _amazing._

Kaidan grabbed fistfuls of the soft fabric under his hands and pulled up. He slid his hands under the cloth and against the smooth hot skin underneath. So _good._ And, _fuck,_ he just wanted _more._

He shoved past the waistband of the man's grey prison sweats and grabbed the guy's firm, muscular ass. Then he pulled them together, even harder, grinding their erections. He hooked his leg over the man's calf, twining their bodies until they moved like one person.

When the man stopped sucking on his neck, Kaidan finally looked up at him. Their eyes met and it suddenly became more. Closer, hotter, _fuck._ _More_ desperate. The man was just as effected as Kaidan and _Kaidan_ was doing that to him. And by the look on his face, he was amazed by what he was doing to Kaidan too.

Kaidan watched as the man closed his eyes and bit his lip. His mouth opened in a silent moan as he came, and it was...oh, fuck, that was...

Kaidan bit his lip, so hard he drew blood, and came as well. He didn't shut his eyes. He wanted to see...he couldn't look away...

He only stopped watching when the man dropped his head to rest against Kaidan's shoulder. For several moments, Kaidan just tried to breathe normally again.

"Well, that was interesting," the man said breathlessly, in an almost casual tone. He moved his thumb absently against Kaidan's shoulder, in something that could be approximated to a caress. Kaidan belatedly took his hands off the man's ass.

Then he just laid there, blinking up at the panels above him. 

That did _not_ just happen. 

The guy rolled off of him and Kaidan looked down at his pants which evidenced that this very much _did_ just happen.

He resolved to block it from his memory at present and address it _later_ when he was either back in his cell or, more miraculously, free. That is, if they didn't just _die._

"So," the guy said, his voice amused, "looks like they've gone." Kaidan just rubbed his hands over his face and resolutely avoided looking at the guy. He heard a loud metallic thump as the man kicked out the vent and it fell with a clang below.

"Come on," the guy said, yanking on the chain.

Kaidan finally met his eyes. "I'm not a dog," he griped, but got up anyway.

The guy had them both hang from the pipe and drop down at the same time because of the stupid chain. Then he picked up his screwdriver. He'd apparently dropped it through the hole so he could keep it.

"Why do you still have that?" Kaidan asked, getting tired of not knowing what _the hell_ was going on.

"Damn," the man said, and Kaidan turned to see what he was looking at; two guards were coming around the corner _right next to them._ And the guy had said, _damn,_ like the bar was out of his favorite drink, not like the, _shit, they have guns and we don't--we're going to die,_ kind of _DAMN!_ that Kaidan was feeling right now.

For a split-second they all just stared at each other. Fortunately for Kaidan, his guy had faster reflexes then the rest of them. He grabbed Kaidan's shoulder for leverage, kicked his leg up and around the neck of the guard in front of him and slammed him down to the ground.

The guard in front of Kaidan was pulling out his gun but Kaidan's guy just grabbed the gun, pushed it up, away from Kaidan, and moved in to stab the screwdriver, left-handed, into the thin line between the guard's helmet and armor. The guard made a choked off yell and gurgle as he slid to the ground. 

Then his guy turned around, the gun now in his right-hand, dragging a stumbling Kaidan with him, pointed the gun at the downed guard's head and pulled the trigger.

Kaidan looked up to see two more guards turning the corner now in front of them. "Hey, there's..." Kaidan started to say, but he needn't have bothered.

His partner just grabbed the vent panel off the floor and threw it, _like a frisbee,_ hitting one guy in the throat, mostly decapitating him. Without a second's pause he shot three rounds into the other's head and the man toppled over, falling on his face.

Then it was really quiet.

"Oh, that's what you wanted it for," Kaidan said softly, shell-shocked, still having trouble getting past the screwdriver.

His guy just turned to Kaidan with a brilliant smile and a look that said, _Come on, tell me I'm awesome._

Kaidan gaped at him.

"Are you having _fun_ with this?" he asked incredulous.

"Well, _yeah,"_ the man said, like it was obvious, "Aren't you?"

"No! No, this is _not_ fun!"

"Even before, when we-"

"Especially then," Kaidan interrupted sharply, _not_ wanting to talk about _that._

"Well," he shrugged, "sucks to be you."

The guy kneeled down and grabbed a couple heat clips, but they couldn't get another gun because the guards' armor locked down the weapons if the wearer died. Instead they just headed down a hallway which Kaidan suspected might have been a random choice. Kaidan growled in frustration. This guy was driving him _crazy._

They walked a little farther and Kaidan was _finally_ starting to calm down when, "You were so cute by the way." Kaidan turned to him sharply. The guy smirked, "You were trying so hard not to like it. Didn't really work," he said with a shrug, "but-"

"Would you just shut up about it!" Kaidan snapped, and then after a moment he added, "It's just been a while. It doesn't actually mean anything."

The guy huffed a laugh, "Oh, you know you want my cock."

"I'm not into _men!"_ Kaidan said, getting upset, "And certainly not _insane violent men!"_

The guy spread his arms, palms down in a non-threatening motion. "Calm down, Poncy. Stop freaking out."

"I'm not freaking out!" Kaidan said, freaking out.

"Yeah," he gave Kaidan _a look,_ "you are."

Kaidan sighed frustrated, and then started ranting. "Well, what do you expect? You dragged me into your terrible plan--which will probably get us both killed by the way--and here you are, enjoying it, and still finding time to...blow all my nicely formed preconceptions of my sexuality out the window and..." Kaidan actually looked over at this guy, his--whatever--who was...

...not looking at Kaidan at all.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah, of course," the guy said, turning back to Kaidan "I'm pretty sure you just asked me to blow you."

"Oh for the-"

"Which is a great plan by the way, I'm all about that, but you'll have to wait about ten minutes."

"What? Are you serious?!" He looked at the guy in disbelief. The guy looked back and then shrugged his shoulder as if saying, _Yeah. Why shouldn't I be?_ Kaidan blinked at him. "How can you even be _thinking_ about sex right now?!" Kaidan exclaimed.

"Shhh," the guy said, covering Kaidan's mouth with his hand. The guy's lips were just barely brushing Kaidan's cheek. It was almost a kiss. That combined with the warm body all along the length of his was doing strange things to his ability to breathe. He was horrified to realize he was getting hard _again._

Then Kaidan heard the steps. It sounded like four guards were coming towards them. "Shit. Okay," the guy whispered, "just follow my lead."

But there wasn't enough time. The guards turned the corner and they had their guns out, ready to fire. They aimed, four guys, four guns. Against the two of them, with one gun, no armor and no cover. They were _so_ dead. 

The guards fired and...

...and they were _not_ dead.

Kaidan had done what his brain hadn't been able to come up with, but his body had remembered; he'd put up a biotic shield.

The shots bounced off his shield harmlessly, then Kaidan kicked his shield out with a loud _BOOM._

Apparently he was a bit more worked up than he thought because the shield explosion knocked all four of them out. His guy shot and killed them easily.

"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked when he noticed the guy was just looking at Kaidan, dazed.

"Yeah, I'm...wow, that was... _damn,"_ he said, ogling Kaidan with intent now, "You just might be my favorite ponce ever."

"Thanks," Kaidan said sarcastically.

His guy smiled at him, definitely fond, and then turned serious, "They obviously know we've escaped. We gotta keep moving." He reloaded his gun and grabbed a pistol to hold at the small of his back, secured by his waistband, "Take this and this," he said to Kaidan, handing him a pistol and extra heat clips.

They made it through another hallway and a room before they came up to a locked door. Kaidan could have unlocked it ten years ago, but now, and with no omni-tool, it just wasn't going to happen. At least not fast enough.

"Shit," his guy said, "what's taking them?" and then Kaidan was unceremoniously dragged and shoved roughly into a small room. A locker-utilities-closet or something. The guy followed in and shut the door.

"What are we doing here?" Kaidan said after a minute.

"Waiting," the guy responded, totally unhelpful.

"Waiting for _what?"_ Kaidan tried again.

"The diversion," was his answer. Kaidan frowned.

"Like an explosion?" he tried, wanting elaboration. "Is someone coming to get us? Are they going to open the door?"

The man was quiet as if listening to everything but Kaidan, until finally, "Something like that," the guy replied distractedly.

There was a long pause and then, "Let me get this straight," Kaidan said, in what he thought was a _very_ reasonable tone considering the circumstances, "we are going to wait," he continued, "in this tiny unfortified space, for an alleged _overdue_ diversion, and let the guards regroup, find us, and shoot us like fish in a barrel." He waited for a few seconds hoping his guy would speak up to refute him or add _something._ But when he received only silence he finished with, "I just want it to be known, I think your plan is total shit."

The guy turned to him and sighed. The air moved across Kaidan's neck causing him to inhale sharply. "Nobody's coming, calm the fuck down."

Kaidan growled, "Stop telling me to _calm down."_

He felt more than heard the soft snort. "Fine," the guy said, "my plan's not good enough. Let's do it your way."

"What are you- _oof--"_ Kaidan tried to say but then he was shoved against the wall beside the door. The man dropped to his knees, pulling Kaidan's pants down with him. Kaidan took in a shocked breath so he could try to ask again--and promptly choked on it--as his limp cock was enveloped in the wet warmth of the guy's mouth. His dick got hard so fast he felt dizzy.

 _"What the fuck!?"_ he said breathlessly. The guy hummed around Kaidan's dick in response like it was something delicious. Kaidan let out an incredulous moan and felt his gun slide out of his hand before he reached up to run his hand through his hair. This situation--fuck-- _this guy-_

His left hand was yanked down for a second by the cuffs and then the guy moved Kaidan's hand onto his head. Kaidan moved his fingers over the guy's short buzzed hair. And _that_ felt good too.

Ugh. _Fuck._ Everything needed to stop feeling so absurdly good so he could just _think_ for a _second--_ this was not the time to-

The hand holding Kaidan's hips moved away and Kaidan's attention was suddenly riveted to the man as he realized the guy had tried to grab himself with his cuffed hand and couldn't, so now he was using his free left hand to-

Kaidan whimpered, a strangled desperate sound cut off as he bit down hard on his fist.

The guy was fisting his cock right now. Because apparently sucking Kaidan off _turned him on._ And fuck, _why_ was that so _hot?_

Kaidan suddenly realized he wanted to watch. Right now he _very much_ wanted to see the guy's cock.

 _Gay, so gay,_ but right now he really couldn't fucking care.

Kaidan spread his legs as far as his pants would allow and he looked down. In the dim light he could just see the man's face, eyes closed, expression wavering between focus and ecstasy.

And Kaidan couldn't quite see the man's dick but Kaidan _could_ see the man's hand as he stroked, fast and rough, over himself. And apparently all of this was actually Kaidan's _thing_ because he felt himself starting to tip over the edge into an orgasm with the man's face in his view and the man's cock in his mind.

His thoughts became just a litany of _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck_ until the guy moaned around Kaidan, deep down his throat, and came--and Kaidan was coming with him and the man was swallowing him down like he just couldn't get enough. So _\--damn--_ good-

And then the guy was pulling off--Kaidan slipping out with a _pop--_ and resting his forehead on Kaidan's hip. Kaidan felt the man's rapid breaths against his over-sensitized cock as his own chest rose and fell too quickly.

Two times. Kaidan had just come two times _\--with this guy--_ within ten minutes and he hadn't--for a while--with anyone else-

This situation--fuck _\--this situation--_ Kaidan didn't even know what to think anymore.

The man looked up at him, his buzz cut almost tickling Kaidan as he moved. "Damn I've missed that," he said, his voice raw but smiling.

"What are you," Kaidan squeezed his eyes tightly shut, "trying to do to me?" he whispered, trying to sound upset and failing because he only sounded absurdly breathless.

The man shifted to nuzzle Kaidan's hip before placing his lips against Kaidan's skin. "Seduce you. Is it working?" his guy answered, breathless as well.

"No. Most certainly not," Kaidan replied but, being that he was practically panting it, he didn't think it was very convincing. "We could have been caught and killed," he continued, " _I_ certainly wasn't paying any attention."

"Yes, I know," the guy said, his voice deep and smug. He nipped a soft bite on Kaidan's thigh and continued, "Besides, they aren't going to look for a notorious killer in the closet."

"That is the most ridic...actually that kind of makes sense." And then, as if for some grand cosmic joke, they heard steps coming towards their room-

 _Fuck,_ was all Kaidan managed to think, but his guy jumped up and quickly pulled Kaidan a couple meters to the side, hiding them behind a heating unit, all before the guard finished opening the door. He even started to pull Kaidan's pants up until Kaidan smacked his hand away.

The guard came in and looked down at the guns they had dropped onto the floor. Shit shit _shit--_

"That moron Wilks left his guns out again," the Blue Sun guard said with a laugh, picking up the guns and heat clips. Kaidan's eyes widened. Were they really going to get away with-- "I'm going to stash them and watch him freak out later," the guard continued in amusement.

"Quit wasting time you idiot," another answered him through the door, "the escapees could be here any second!"

"They're not going to get past the mech, so what the hell are you so worried about?" The guard walked back out of the small room and closed the door.

"That was ridiculous. You almost got us killed!" Kaidan whispered angrily at his guy as they walked back over to the door.

"Looks like we might have to take things into our own hands," the man said, ignoring Kaidan as he looked through the small window. "I count eight of them."

Kaidan let out a frustrated sigh. "I feel the need to remind you that we don't have any guns." Though he already knew that wasn't going to stop the man.

"Hand to hand then," his guy answered, untroubled. "Well, it's a good thing I'm left handed," he added.

Kaidan thought about it for a second. "No you're not," he stated.

"Oh, well, I guess we're just fucked." And then the guy stepped through the door.

It all happened very fast.

It was over in less than a minute.

Eight guys. One minute.

His guy slid behind one of the guards, grabbed the pistol off the guard's back with his right hand, and shoved Kaidan into a kneel with his elbow. Then he grabbed the guy in front of him, ducking down, using the man as a shield, and shot from behind his 'shield's' waist at the two guys farthest away. Two down. Their 'shield' jerked around as several of the other guards shot their buddy trying to get to them. Three down.

When the other guards were close enough to cause them trouble, his guy pulled Kaidan "Up," tossed the unfortunate guard-shield at the first guard to reach them, knocking the man over. Then he kicked his legs up, like he wanted to slam the next guy down, but instead he trapped the guard's head with his ankles and twisted, snapping the guard's neck. Four.

He landed, kneeling, on the first-guard, dragging Kaidan into a kneel with him. Then he grabbed a knife off the guard below him, threw it--left handed--at the next closest guard and it went into the man's forehead, _through_ the man's helmet (five). The guard fell, spasmed and tripped up the guard right behind him. His guy shot the man quickly with the pistol (six), grabbed a grenade off the man under him, stood up, shot the guy he was standing on (seven), turned to throw the grenade at the one remaining guard (eight) and kneeled back down, shielding Kaidan with his body from the blast--

A loud _BOOM_ echoed through the room leaving muted silence in its wake.

They stood up.

Kaidan stared at his guy and his breath caught in his throat. The man scanned the room as debris fell and smoke billowed around him.

"Who _the hell_ are you?" Kaidan asked, gaping in disbelief.

The man turned and met Kaidan's eyes, a particularly disconcerting smile forming on his lips, "Name's Shepard," he said. His smile slid into a wicked grin, "And your hair looks great like that by the way," he continued with a self-satisfied nod, "looks like I fucked you."

Kaidan blinked at him for several more seconds. "You're unbelievable," was all Kaidan could say to that.

"I know," the guy answered, like Kaidan had meant it as a compliment.

...well, maybe he had. 

"Alright," Shepard said, turning serious, "we're running out of time. We have to make it to the docking bay before they realize we've got a way off the station." Shepard dragged him around, quickly grabbing guns and heat clips, handing one of each to Kaidan. Then he kneeled down next to the last one.

 _"Fuck yeah,"_ his guy said, getting excited, "that's what I wanted to _see."_ He stood up with the new acquisition and it was...

...a _rocket launcher._ Fuck.

Shepard plus a rocket launcher seemed--

And before Kaidan could register what Shepard was doing, the guy had aimed, pulled the trigger, and sent a rocket through the door.

When the smoke cleared and Kaidan could hear again, he snapped, "Don't you think you could have _warned-"_

"Let's go," Shepard ignored his complaint and just dragged him to the gaping hole that used to be a door.

Shepard rushed forward and looked into the next room with his back against the wall, using the doorway for cover. Kaidan leaned over him, hand on the man's stomach for stability, and looked too. Clear for the moment.

Ten steps into the room however-

"Shit," Shepard shoved Kaidan down and landed on top of him. A rocket passed through the space they had been standing and exploded in the vacated room. Shepard looked down at Kaidan. "You know, I like this. Having you under me," he said conversationally, "this is a good thing for us." Kaidan scowled at him.

"Get off me," Kaidan said, shoving him. _"Don't,"_ he added sharply when Shepard opened his mouth to say something Kaidan knew was going to be about _getting off._ Shepard only managed to look more amused.

They moved around a corner away from the mech and found some cover behind a short metal crate just as a couple more guards came into view from the other direction.

Shepard pushed Kaidan down again and, _dammit,_ that was fucking _enough._ "You know what? _Fuck you,"_ he said to Shepard as he stood up. Kaidan was sick of this. He wasn't a fucking damsel in distress. He could fucking take care of himself.

He shot a glare at Shepard, used Reave on one of the guards and Lift on another.

"Alright," Shepard said, meeting his eyes before turning and shooting the suspended guard. "Message received. Sparky's not a ponce."

Kaidan growled at him but then they noticed a guy sneaking around a nearby corner. When the guy started to run at them Kaidan glanced at Shepard and together they ran the chain linking them together into the guy's neck. The guy flipped and landed on his back with a slam. Kaidan turned and shot him in the head.

Then they were moving forward through the large room, around crates, under fire, systematically taking everyone in the room down. Kaidan lifted, Shepard shot, Kaidan lifted, Shepard shot.

It was...impressive. How well they worked together. Kaidan was impressing himself and from the surprised glances from Shepard, he wasn't the only one wondering what the hell was making them fight this in tune.

"I am _so_ going to fuck you when we get out of here," Shepard said after the eighth kill. Kaidan fumbled. Well _of course_ Shepard had to ruin it by starting to talk. "Unless _you_ really want to do the fucking," Shepard added between shots, "I can work with that."

Kaidan sort of choked on his next breath, letting out a strangled noise as he lifted the next guy. Shepard really needed to shut the fuck up, but Kaidan couldn't even yell at him right now. "Shit, mech." Kaidan shouted and they dove and rolled into cover as another rocket headed towards them. And, _of course,_ Shepard ended up on top of Kaidan, _again._

"Actually, you know what," the man continued as the noise from the blast faded, their lips almost touching, "that's what we're going to do. I want _you_ to fuck _me."_ Shepard hopped up, lifted and fired a rocket at the machine. Kaidan followed it with a Warp. "But make sure it's a good hard fucking," Shepard added, "I really want to feel it tomorrow."

 _"Dammit, Shepard,"_ Kaidan's finally responded, exasperated, "I don't think _now_ it the time to talk about this!"

"Good as any oth-"

"Unauthorized transport docking in Docking Bay 4," an unnecessarily cheerful female VI interrupted over the intercom.

"And there's our ride," Shepard said cheerfully. _Oh, thank God._ "Right on time," he added like everything had gone exactly to plan. Kaidan shot him an incredulous look. But then, well, for all Kaidan knew, maybe it _was_ this guy's plan. To leave a path of destruction everywhere he went. That this was his modus operandi. It would make sense.

They full out ran the rest of the way, dodged another rocket, and skidded into the air lock connected to Docking Bay 4 just as the door slid shut. Then they stood there, both breathing hard and loud against the sudden quiet hiss and hum as the room decontaminated them. Kaidan had the weird thought that maybe there should be some elevator music.

"Well-" Kaidan started when the silence began to feel awkward, but the door opened, interrupting him, and Shepard stalked out of the room dragging Kaidan with him.

"Shepard," a scar faced turian greeted with a nod.

"Four months," Shepard responded with a crooked grin, stopping in front of him, "You're losing your touch Garrus."

The turian, Garrus, huffed, "Well, it's not easy to break into Purgatory. In fact, it's _supposed_ to be impossible."

"So it was fun, right?" Shepard said waggling his eyebrows.

"For you, maybe," Garrus answered, shifting back and folding his arms, "for the rest of us? Not so much."

Garrus looked over at Kaidan. His eyes dropped down to Kaidan's neck, taking in the probably monstrous bruise, and then back to Shepard. His mandibles twitched oddly.

"Who's this, Shepard?" he asked, amusement tinting his rumbling voice.

"This, Garrus, is my new friend..." Shepard trailed off and turned to Kaidan, "What's your name?" he asked in a stage whisper.

"...Kaidan..." Kaidan said slowly, realizing just how insane this all was, "...Alenko..."

They escaped prison, had sex twice, killed probably thirty people, and the guy didn't even know his name.

"This is my new friend, Kaidan," Shepard said, like it didn't bother him that he had sucked a guy off, saved him, and then brought him home without even knowing a thing about him.

"Well," Garrus said more respectfully, turning to Kaidan, "welcome to the Normandy, Kaidan Alenko. I'm Garrus Vakarian, Commander Shepard's second in command."

Kaidan's eyes went big and he turned to Shepard, "You're a commander?!" he asked shocked.

"What? You don't think I'm commanding officer material?" Shepard said, holding a hand over his heart. "Your lack of confidence in my leadership abilities hurts me, Kaidan. It really does."

Kaidan noted he did not look hurt at all.

Then a burly young guy walked up and started unlocking their handcuffs with a key. "Well, Loco, that was quite the show. You really can't do a thing half way, can you old man." His voice sounded bizarrely familiar.

Once Kaidan was unhooked, he took a sharp step away from Shepard. It felt distinctly weird. Then he caught himself looking Shepard over now that he could, and realized he was legitimately checking the man out.

Shepard just threw him a smirk before turning to the burly kid. "I assume you can show our new crew member to his room James?"

The kid nodded and turned to Kaidan, "You movin in, Thunder?"

"Thunder?" Shepard asked, raising an eyebrow.

The kid shrugged. "Boom," he said, moving his hands in a facsimile of an explosion.

Shepard's lips twisted into a wry smile. "Thank you for my present, James," Shepard said in a sing-song voice as he started walking away.

Then Kaidan realized why the kid sounded so familiar. "Wait, you're my guard," Kaidan said surprised, "You locked me to this guy on purpose?" he pointed at Shepard's retreating back.

"I had to make sure he took you with him, didn't I?"

"Oh," _well, when you put it that way,_ "uh, thank you," he said to his guard. James.

"I'd have to say," James remarked conversationally as they headed deeper into the ship, onto an elevator, "I didn't see it working out quite like _that._ But, uh, good," James smiled at him, "Loco needs somebody who can mellow him a little."

Kaidan snorted, surprised. "There is _no way_ that I'm going to be able to do _that."_

James just smirked. "If you say so," he said and let Kaidan into his room.

Or, well, Shepard's room apparently. This was obviously not Kaidan's room.

He walked around, checking it out, for maybe ten minutes before he realized he was basically just waiting for Shepard. He started thinking about leaving and he'd almost reached the door when Shepard stormed into the room.

"So this is-" Kaidan started, but Shepard interrupted by shoving him up against the wall length fish tank. Kaidan raised his eyebrows at the man. "So I'm sleeping-" he tried again.

"With me."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Shepard said smugly, "Are you telling me that you don't want to fuck like pyjaks until we both pass out on my nice big bed?"

"I," Kaidan swallowed, "I don't." It's not like he still thought he was straight, that ship had sailed, but the presumption-

"Liar," Shepard said, voice deep and taunting. Kaidan scowled at him.

 _Damn,_ this _guy._ He just drove Kaidan _crazy._ Kaidan wanted to strangle him.

 _And_ he wanted to fuck him.

"Fine," Kaidan growled, "I want you. Satisfied now?"

"Not _yet,"_ Shepard said with that infuriatingly self-satisfied smirk. Kaidan wasn't sure if he wanted to slap the expression off his face, or kiss it off, so he flipped them around and shoved Shepard against the glass instead. It didn't work, in fact Shepard smiled more, but when Kaidan rolled his hips against Shepard's, the man's eyes closed and his mouth opened on a sharp breath.

Then he shoved Kaidan, putting him off balance. "You're going to have to try harder than that," he said, stalking Kaidan backwards, his expression turning dangerous.

He motioned to the floor and Kaidan turned to look just in time to register the stairs and stumble down them instead of fall. He grabbed the rail to hold himself up but Shepard took four quick strides and shoved Kaidan back against rail. Shepard locked Kaidan in, an arm on each side.

"I can't believe you did that to me," Kaidan said, referring to basically the entire escapade. Being dragged around, fucked around with, hell, even saved. It was all a bit unbelievable.

"Are you mad at me?" Shepard asked, "Want to punish me for it?" He moved his eyebrows suggestively and then leered.

"No," Kaidan said sharply, glared at Shepard, then, "Yes," he growled in frustration.

"Good," Shepard said. Then he grabbed Kaidan, swung him around, and slammed him into the wall. The breath left Kaidan's lungs as his back connected with the hard surface. Shepard pinned Kaidan's body with his body and Kaidan's hands with his hands. When Kaidan glared at him, he just leaned in and licked a line up Kaidan's neck.

"Are you _trying_ to drive me crazy?" Kaidan said, breathless for more than one reason.

"I'm not _trying_ to do anything," Shepard practically purred into his neck. "I don't _try_ to do things, I _do_ them." Shepard bit Kaidan on his chin, just on the right side of painful. "And right now," Shepard nipped and licked Kaidan's throat between words, "I'm gunna _do,_ _all kinds_ of unspeakable things to you." Shepard sucked on the bruise from earlier and Kaidan shivered. "I'm sure you're not ready for me to fuck you," Shepard continued, lips close to Kaidan's ear before biting his earlobe, "Do you think you can handle me mapping your entire body with my tongue?"

 _"Fuck,"_ Kaidan swore quietly. Then he groaned, "So it doesn't matter what I want?"

"Assuming you don't want that, which is a lie," Shepard said, mouthing his way across Kaidan's jaw. He bit down hard on Kaidan's lip, before moving to Kaidan's other ear, whispering "what are you gunna do about it?"

"Ask you to stop," Kaidan breathed out but Shepard just snorted. "Tell you to stop," Kaidan tried again, but that wouldn't work either. _"Make_ you stop," he growled and to that Shepard leaned back and smirked.

"Then _make_ me," Shepard dared him.

Kaidan shoved Shepard with his biotics.

Shepard stumbled back three steps. Kaidan glanced at the door. It wasn't that far. If he could just-

"So how are you gunna stop me Kaidan?" And just like that Shepard had his attention again. Kaidan stepped toward him, Shepard stepped back, teasing, drawing him into the room. "Maybe you want to tie me up?"

And Kaidan knew what Shepard was doing. Luring him in, demanding and keeping his attention. But just because he knew that was happening, didn't mean it was any less effective.

He tried to pull his eyes away from Shepard again but-

"I've still got our cuffs," Shepard said, holding his wrists out like an offering. And, fuck, that shouldn't be so tempting.

Kaidan took another step in, only realizing too late that he was already across the room, and way too close to Shepard.

Shepard darted forward, grabbing his waist and leg, and then _flung_ him back, onto a desk, scattering the stuff on top all over the floor. Kaidan was so annoyed that he was apparently that easy to trick and to _throw_ around, that when Shepard came toward him, he put his foot up onto Shepard's chest to stop him and then shoved Shepard back _hard._ Kaidan kicked the desk chair, sending it into Shepard, tripping Shepard up. He hopped off the desk while Shepard stumbled. Now Kaidan could leave. One kick or biotic push and Shepard would go down, Kaidan would have won. Nothing was stopping him from leaving Shepard behind.

Except...

Kaidan clenched his jaw and glared at Shepard. He didn't want to leave. He was really annoyed to realize he actually wanted this. With this man. Even screwed up like he was; crazy, violent, twisted.

Kaidan glanced at the door again, and then back to Shepard, catching his eyes. A smile, just a shade too happy to be smug, formed on Shepard's face as he realized what Kaidan was thinking. And Kaidan knew, because of that smile, he wasn't going to take it back.

Decision made, Shepard responded, lunging forward and grabbing the back of Kaidan's knee. He pulled, making Kaidan fall backwards until his back slammed against the small table.

Shepard came down on top of him, hands smacking against the table next to Kaidan's head for support. "This is mine," Shepard whispered, harsh against Kaidan's mouth.

His. Kaidan's body, Shepard's rules, this game.

"Like hell it is," Kaidan whispered, equally harsh against Shepard's mouth. Then he rolled them off the table, landing on top of Shepard and pinning him to the ground. He straddled Shepard's waist, hands holding Shepard's wrists against the floor above his head. He had to use his biotics to keep Shepard in place, and he was beginning to suspect Shepard was something more than human. Well, whatever he was- "You're fucking crazy," Kaidan said, but he wanted to take it back when something almost pained crossed Shepard's face.

It was gone in an instant. "You can't mind that much," Shepard said, rolling his body up against Kaidan's, sliding their erections together. Kaidan's eyes shut and he let out an involuntary moan. "The body doesn't lie Kaidan," Shepard said seductively, _"I win."_

Kaidan snapped his eyes open. He leaned down and growled in Shepard's ear, "Does everything have to be a fight with you?" Their bodies were so close that when Kaidan felt a shiver run through his body, it took him a moment to realize it was Shepard, not him. "Well, not this time," he continued. Shepard moaned. "We're going to do this _my way,"_ Kaidan growled even deeper and Shepard's body quaked against his. Kaidan smirked.

"I'd like to see you try t'make me," Shepard said, but the words came out weak.

So Shepard _liked_ it like this? Being dominated. Well, Kaidan smirked harder, he could definitely work with that.

He held Shepard's blue eyes as he leaned down and slowly brought their mouths close. He let his lower lip drag against Shepard's before clashing their mouths together, meeting Shepard's tongue with rough strokes of his own.

By the complete backwardness of it, Kaidan realized, they were kissing for the first time.

He forced the kiss to turn soft and sweet and amazingly Shepard let it stay that way.

"The bed," Kaidan said in a breath.

"Fuck no," Shepard responded and Kaidan leaned back and raised his eyebrows. Mischievous eyes met his.

So apparently this was going to stay a fight. Alright then.

"I'm not having sex on the floor," Kaidan almost sighed.

"Fine," Shepard said and he flipped them over and got up, dragging Kaidan up with him. He grabbed onto the neckline of Kaidan's shirt and pulled, _hard_ and _fast._ The shirt fabric stretched, tore and ripped, one line down the front and one down the back. Easy as tearing paper.

The shreds of fabric slid off of Kaidan's arms. "Better," Shepard said. He trailed his eyes over Kaidan appreciatively. The corner of his lips curled up deviously, "You want to do your pants, or should I?"

Kaidan ignored that and just grabbed the hem of Shepard's shirt and pulled it harshly over his head. "That was a bit unnecessary, don't you think?" he said, crowding into Shepard's space.

He grabbed Shepard's chin, hard enough it would leave bruises on a normal person, which he was now pretty _damn_ sure Shepard wasn't, and pulled Shepard's mouth back to him. Kaidan kissed him, bit his lip, dominated the motion, emphasized his greater height. With it he was saying, _I won't let this be just your game._ "Better," Kaidan growled dark and deep.

 _"No,"_ Shepard growled back, grabbing the back of Kaidan's neck, bringing their lips together again, making it rough and harsh. Their teeth clacked twice before they smoothed out their motions to mostly lips and tongue.

Then apparently Shepard was done with that. He shifted back sharply and grabbed the waistband of Kaidan's pants with both hands. He pulled down roughly and then shoved Kaidan back. Kaidan sat down, bruisingly hard, bare-assed on the table. Then Shepard grabbed the pants that were now around Kaidan's thighs and pulled them off, shoes and socks with them.

Leaving Kaidan sitting off balance and completely naked.

Well, it seemed like he was really going to have to work at it if he wanted to keep this relationship balanced. Or something like balanced. So Shepard needed to be naked too. Kaidan grabbed Shepard's pants and yanked them down, revealing a large, full, bobbing, cock. Kaidan licked his lips.

It took him a second to remember what he was doing and finish pushing Shepard's pants down so Shepard could step out of them.

And, fuck, Shepard's cock, there straining towards him. Kaidan felt like he couldn't help it. He leaned forward, looking up to meet Shepard's eyes, opened his mouth and licked along the underside. He tentatively placed his mouth around the head, soft and hard skin against his lips.

Shepard reached out, tangling his fingers in Kaidan's hair. And this was okay. Kaidan didn't know what the hell he was doing, but it was okay.

That is until Shepard tightened his hold on Kaidan's head and shoved in, one swift fuck of Kaidan's mouth. 

Kaidan choked and shoved him away. He looked up at Shepard, scowling, but the bastard had the guile to just smirk at him. Well then.

Kaidan moved quickly off the table, hands grabbing Shepard's waist, turning him and shoving him face first into the wall between the couch and the desk. Shepard let out a surprised sound and turned to look at him out of the corner of his eye, cheek pressed against the metal paneling.

 _Yeah, you're not the only one who can move fast. You're not the only one strong enough to dominate._ His body was stretched out over Shepard's, his fingers linked with the other man's fingers, hands held high up against the wall.

"Don't do that," Kaidan growled a whisper. Shepard might have whimpered.

"Or what?"

"Or you won't get what you want," Kaidan answered, rolling his hips, cock sliding along Shepard's cleft, down and under his ass, trailing pre-cum.

Shepard closed his eyes and exhaled hard, a shiver running through his body. He pushed back against Kaidan and squeezed Kaidan's fingers to the point of pain.

But Kaidan barely noticed. All he could see was Shepard. Shepard, eyes shut, panting. Shepard writhing against him and letting out a stuttered breath. _"Fuck,"_ Kaidan whispered. Seeing Shepard look like that was making him crazy. It made Kaidan feel powerful. It made him feel sexy. Kaidan blamed that for how easy it was for Shepard to flip them and shove Kaidan's back up against the wall.

"You think you can push me around with your fancy biotics?" Shepard said, breathless, harsh, sounding almost angry, "You're not stronger than me."

"Maybe not," Kaidan admitted, meeting his eyes, "but I _can_ and _will_ push you around." Shepard frowned at him, his eyes going thin and skeptical. "You want to know how?" Kaidan continued, leaning forward and dropping his voice, "Because you'll let me. Because you like it too much."

Shepard clenched his jaw, and then turned around and kicked the table. It slid halfway across the room with a loud screech, taking a chair with it. Shepard turned back, grabbing Kaidan, and shoving him back onto the couch. Shepard moved with him, landing with a knee on each side, above and straddling Kaidan's lap.

Shepard placed his hands firm on Kaidan's cheeks, and angled Kaidan's face up to his. He tensed like he was going to slam their mouths together in a brutal kiss, but Kaidan caught his eyes. They both froze. Shepard searched his face, frowning slightly, confused. His breath quickened as the confusion shifted into surprise. Kaidan didn't know what Shepard was seeing in Kaidan's eyes but Shepard tightened his grip on Kaidan's face.

Kaidan tightened his hold on Shepard's hips in response. He licked his lips and swallowed, "What do you want from me?" His voice came out softer and more open than he'd expected.

A complicated look formed on Shepard's face before smoothing out to his familiar smirk, "I want you to fuck me Kaidan." But the way he said Kaidan's name, it felt more like a caress than Kaidan thought Shepard capable.

But then Shepard reached down and curled a fist around Kaidan's erection. Kaidan's body froze and he promptly lost ability to reason. Shepard lined himself up, moved his hands to Kaidan's shoulders, tensed his legs and-

Wait- _"Fuck no,"_ Kaidan managed, shoving Shepard off his lap and onto the couch. What was Shepard- "You're not--you're not _ready."_

"What _the fuck_ Kaidan?" Shepard said, propping himself up with his elbows on the couch, legs open wide, allowing Kaidan to see everything.

Kaidan forcibly dragged his eyes away. "You need preparation," he managed weakly after a second.

 _"No,_ I-"

"Do you have lube?" wait, that was a stupid question, "Where is it?" he asked instead.

"Come _on_ Kaidan," Shepard whined.

Kaidan turned and glared, holding Shepard's too blue eyes, "I'll make it rough like you want," he conceded, "But I'm not going to made it _dangerous."_

"I heal faster tha-"

 _"I don't fucking care,"_ Kaidan said, "I'm not letting you _fuck yourself_ on my body." But Shepard still wasn't moving. Kaidan realized the man needed additional motivation.

He moved quickly, up and off the couch, and then he grabbed Shepard's wrist and dragged him up too. He pulled Shepard towards him, one hand sliding down to grab Shepard's ass and one up to guide Shepard's mouth to his. With a growl he took Shepard's lips. Their kiss was rough and biting, sliding into unhinged, flavored with real desperation.

"Do you want this?" Kaidan breathed the words, affected and seductive, against Shepard's lips. He _felt_ Shepard melt into his hold. Shepard didn't answer, but Kaidan didn't need him to.

"Then. fucking. get. it. _now."_ Kaidan said each word sharp and clear, and then shoved Shepard away from him.

Shepard took a couple unbalanced steps backwards, looking at Kaidan annoyed. In two seconds his expression smoothed out. "Whatever you say, Mr. Alenko," he said sassily before walking over to his nightstand and bending over it. Kaidan swallowed.

Shepard fetched the tube and came back to him, waving it side to side teasingly and sending Kaidan a snarky smile. When he was close enough to hand it to Kaidan, he tossed it in the air so Kaidan had to scramble to catch it while Shepard flopped, stomach down, onto the couch.

Shepard rolled his hips against the surface with an intentional moan before shifting back and up, onto his hands and knees, stretching his back like a cat, giving Kaidan a view of his glorious ass. Kaidan whimpered.

Shepard looked back at him, lips quirked, eyes smoldering. Kaidan noticed even Shepard's lips looked obscene. "Well, come on Kaidan," Shepard teased, wrapped a fist around his cock, pumped with two deliberate strokes before setting his hand back onto the couch. "What are you waiting for?"

Kaidan took those last two steps, legs a little weak. He kneeled on the couch next to Shepard and then coated his fingers in lubricant, rubbing it between his thumb and forefingers.

He was feeling shaky and he didn't know what the fuck he was doing. He might have been freaking out a little.

"Kai _dan-"_ Shepard whined when Kaidan didn't move fast enough.

"Would you just let me-" Kaidan started, but he shut up when Shepard's eyes met his again. They weren't teasing like his voice. Shepard's eyes said _I want you. Desperately._

Kaidan placed his other hand flat on Shepard's back to help ground himself and took a deep breath. "Okay, sorry," he said.

Kaidan slid his hand down Shepard's back to his ass and parted his cheeks. He moved his jelled fingers to smooth the lubricant over Shepard's entrance, across the soft, warm, textured skin, then slid his middle finger in.

Shepard let out a broken breath and, fuck, that sounded so sexy. Shepard was very tight, and then tighter, as he flexed around Kaidan. Kaidan's cock twitched from the thought that it could be _\--would be--_ there soon. Carefully he slid his index finger in next to his middle and reveled in the gasp Shepard let out. He was learning Shepard's body, motions, and sounds. It was amazing, addictive, he didn't want it to stop. But-

"Another," Shepard demanded after barely a few seconds.

"Wait," Kaidan tried to command. It came out as a plea. 

Shepard growled, frustrated, "I'm sure I can find someone else to _fuck me_ the way I want, _Kaidan."_

Kaidan froze.

What?

He pulled his fingers out and stepped back. He shook his head, failing to clear it. He couldn't believe Shepard had just said that.

Shepard groaned, flopping back into a sitting position "What are you _doing?"_ he asked.

"What am I-" And, well, what did you think Kaidan? That he was going to be yours and only yours? "What am I--? What are _we_ doing Shepard?" Kaidan asked. And he realized that, yes, that was exactly what he'd been thinking.

Shepard looked at him, frown forming on his face. _"You_ are going to fuck me," Shepard said, like it was really that simple.

"And after that?" Kaidan swallowed, "Tomorrow?" And _why_ had Kaidan assumed Shepard would want a relationship with him? Neither of them knew anything about each other.

"I'm going to fuck _you,"_ Shepard answered. Kaidan shook his head. Shepard wasn't getting this.

"Next week? What then? Are you just going to get rid of me?" Kaidan asked, swinging his arm out, "Drop me off at the next station?" And why was Kaidan so upset about this? How had his heart gotten involved? It was fucking with his head. "Because that would be-" To feel this mixed up already. To want so much and be worried about not having, "that would be," Kaidan slumped, feeling defeated, "a really dick move."

"You don't want that?" Shepard asked slowly, honest curiosity on his gorgeous face. He had no idea.

"Of course I don't want that," Kaidan sighed, only realizing after he said it that it actually didn't make sense. Why would Shepard assume Kaidan wanted to stay with him? Kaidan had done nothing to show him he wanted that.

But that didn't make it any less true.

Shepard studied him for a moment. He licked his lips, tilted his head, squeezed his hands into fists, then, "Are you having a crisis?" he asked.

Kaidan blinked at him, then, "Shepard, I don't know what you're _doing,"_ he almost yelled it. He took a calming breath, "I don't know what you want from _me."_

Shepard held his eyes for so long Kaidan thought he'd never forget that color blue. Shepard blue. "Isn't it obvious," Shepard finally said, "I just want you," again like it was all very simple, "I don't _want_ anyone else." Kaidan gaped at him until Shepard snorted and glanced away. "And you know what," he continued, humor creeping into his voice, "I'm not used to wanting _anything_ this much." He locked his stare back on Kaidan, "It's freaking me the fuck out," he lifted his chin, "So stop," he commanded, "And just fuck me." Like that. Simple.

Kaidan didn't move. But Shepard was built in motion, he shifted up and turned, a sudden graceful move. With his knees on the couch, he leaned foward over its back and slapped his hands against the glass display case. It looked like an offer. "Because I want you," Shepard continued, turning his head to profile, "to pound my fucking ass," he spread his legs wider, "right now."

Fuck. Kaidan's heart probably caught and stuttered like his breath. "Okay. Yeah."

Kaidan moved to kneel behind him. He let his eyes trail over Shepard's shoulders, back, and ass. He looked so gorgeous. And he wanted Kaidan. Kaidan slid his hand around Shepard's side and then up to his cheek, leading Shepard's face and leaning in to meet his lips. He took Shepard's mouth roughly and bit down on Shepard's lip. The kiss was quick and loaded, and then Kaidan was leaning back.

He grabbed his cock and lined himself up against Shepard's entrance, sliding on jell and pre-cum. He grabbed Shepard's hip hard with his free hand. They'd done enough talking, but Kaidan wanted one last reassurance, so he allowed himself this.

"Tell me again. Tell me what you want," he whispered.

 _"You,_ Kaidan. Just you," Shepard breathed the words.

Kaidan shoved in fast and hard.

They let out a yell together, _"Fuck,"_ "Yesss."

Kaidan's hands grabbed Shepard's hips so hard he had to be leaving a mark. Too much. It was too much. He couldn't-

"Now _move,"_ Shepard commanded. Kaidan pulled out and shoved back in.

Then again. And again.

And it was so much to take in at once. The feel of Shepard under his hands, around his dick, Shepard's breaths, Shepard's fingers pressed hard against the glass and then curling into fists. Everything about him was too much. This man was driving him crazy.

And that he would let Kaidan into his body like this, he felt...they felt, so connected. 

Then Shepard leaned back into Kaidan, like he wanted to be as close to Kaidan as possible. All wrapped up in him.

Kaidan wrapped his left arm around Shepard's body, hand resting over Shepard's heart, and his right around Shepard's waist, fingers curling into Shepard's side. Shepard felt small like this. Easily held inside Kaidan's arms.

He felt like Kaidan's. _"Fuck, Shepard,"_ Kaidan breathed out in surprise. Shepard answered with a desperate sound that resembled Kaidan's name.

And it felt like he was taking Shepard apart. Shepard was shaking. It was too rough, Kaidan was sure. He tried to ease down but Shepard just said, _"Harder Kaidan."_ And his voice, begging and demanding and pleading all at once. How could Kaidan do anything else?

He fucked Shepard hard. But for those moments, those pauses of breath, when they slowed and the world with them, he touched Shepard however he wanted. Gentle, and full of emotion. More than he wanted to examine, more than Shepard would ever acknowledge. With his hands, with his cock, with his whole body he was just saying, _Mine. You're mine. Always. I want you. I'll care for you. No one else can ever have you._

_Please._

He felt ruined for anyone else. Shepard laid his arm over Kaidan's and grabbed his hand, tangling their fingers together. Kaidan moaned into Shepard's neck. It felt like Shepard was holding him back.

Shepard moved Kaidan's hand down, fingers trailing Shepard's strong stomach, to wrap around Shepard's erection. _"Oh, God, Shepard,"_ Kaidan murmured against Shepard's back. Kaidan'd never thought that holding the hard flesh in his hand would be so unbelievably erotic.

Then Shepard reached back, tangling his fingers in Kaidan's hair, holding him closer. The fingers tightened in Kaidan's hair, pain and pleasure getting twisted around each other, before pulling completely away.

"Now _harder,"_ Shepard commanded. He bent forward over the back of the couch again, slamming his hands into the glass in front of him. A thunk resonated through the surface, tinted with the small sharp noises of cracking glass. When Kaidan didn't move Shepard begged, "Kaidan, _please,"_ like it was some kind of visceral _need._

The words, _of course, always,_ and _anything_ floated into his mind. Kaidan grabbed Shepard's hips and pounded into him.

He heard more small sharp sounds as he rocked Shepard's body forward before they were drowned out by Shepard. His incredible voice whispering out louder and faster repetitions of Kaidan's name. Fuck, and oh god, and _Kaidan._

And Kaidan _felt_ him slipping into an orgasm. He was carrying Kaidan down with him. It was like his mind was wrapped around Kaidan's the way his body was wrapped around Kaidan's. He heard in his head, _mine_ and _yours_ and _please_ and _only you, Shepard._ Thinking the words, or saying them, or it didn't matter because that was the same thing, but falling. No question about that, he was _falling._

With Shepard, or _for_ Shepard, in, to, around.

He was falling apart.

His mind came back to him slowly. He registered the sweat cooling on his neck. The rapid double beat of their hearts. He was still draped over, and buried in, Shepard. Kaidan pulled out and slumped down onto the couch.

He didn't want to move but this wasn't the place to sleep. Shepard didn't even lay down. He shifted off the couch and up the stairs, out of view. Kaidan heard the shower start. He decided to follow.

The door slid open when he reached it, and Shepard looked up at Kaidan when Kaidan reached him. And every time Kaidan saw the man, Kaidan liked the way he looked a little more. Looking at him, touching him, it all felt like an addiction.

Kaidan noticed all the bruises he’d left and felt hot. And disturbed because he liked it so much. But just the thought of Kaidan having a mark, some claim, over _this_ man, the epitome of all things unconquerable, was addictive and he wanted more.

"Hey," Kaidan said, sending Shepard a nervous smile. He leaned in to kiss Shepard but Shepard interrupted his motion by taking a step back.

"So I'm guessing you want to make love now or something?" Shepard asked leaning his head back for the water to run over.

"No, not right now," Kaidan said eyeing Shepard warily, "But maybe someday."

Shepard smirked, then in a derisive voice he started, "Figures you'd be-"

 _"No."_ Kaidan pulled and shoved Shepard's shoulders against the wall, searching Shepard's face. "You don't get to make fun of me," he said, trying to make it a command.

"Whatever you say Mr. Alenko." Shepard said, smirk only strengthening.

Kaidan sighed, then, "We did what you wanted, now let me do what I want." He moved his hand up, pausing for a moment, then he traced Shepard's scar with his fingertip, trailed his fingers down to touch Shepard's sharp cheekbones. He cupped Shepard's face, "Let me take care of you."

Shepard growled, "Kai-"

"Are you really going to complain about this?" Kaidan interrupted, sliding his thumb against Shepard's cheek.

"It's too soft for me," he replied, glaring.

Kaidan studied Shepard for a moment. Shepard's whole body was tensed but he wasn't straining away from Kaidan, he was almost imperceptibly leaning into Kaidan's touch. "Liar," Kaidan smiled, "You like it."

But Shepard just looked away. After a moment he added a quiet, "Maybe." He sounded confused and embarrassed.

Incredible. Shepard was ashamed of liking it sweet. Of all the things to be ashamed of.

Kaidan leaned close to Shepard's ear, "Good," he growled for encouragement and placed his lips against Shepard's temple in a kiss. Shepard moved his hands to Kaidan's hips and tried to push Kaidan away, but Kaidan held him still.

 _"Shepard,"_ Kaidan warned, "You are going to have to figure out how to make this work," he said softly, lips sliding against the wet skin next to Shepard's ear. "Because, if you haven't noticed, you're stuck with me now."

Shepard tightened his hold on Kaidan's hips in a way that said, _good,_ and _mine._

Kaidan slid his hand to firmly grab the back of Shepard's neck and then he kissed Shepard in a way that said, _fine,_ and _but you're mine too._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this and you don't already know me on tumblr, come see [me](http://prettysemmy.tumblr.com/) there. I sometimes post small fics to go along with reblogged pictures.


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